Saturday, July 14, 2012
Friends
I find myself in a point of life where my real "freinds" list has diminshed significantly.
This took a while to realize, but suddenly it feels that there is no one to invite out to the concert,
or the book store, or just for coffee.
There was a time when I prided myself in the number of friends & acquaintances I had... or
thought I had. But over the years, between moves, several deaths, divorce, children's schedules,
stressful jobs, lack of money, lack of time, & just plain old tiredness or laziness, I have few friends.
Although I am like an octopus reaching out - creating meetings, parties, events, & reasons to get together, its a lot of work, without a lot of ROI.
This saddens me becasue I see my parents, & other friends loosing their friends as well.
Mostly now due to death & illness. Long distances are too much to travel, & they aren't interested
in modern technology & its many attributes... IE: Facebook, Classmates.com, MySpace, Linked In, etc. If anything, they are overwhelmed by them, if they even know what they are.
So their reach is only as long as the telephone & only as long as their most recent conversation.
All of these sites such as Facebook, etc are interesting in what they call "Freinds".
I have seen some people's profiles to boast over 500 Friends, but upon speaking to that person,
they said they only knew about 50 of them personally, & about 75+ more were work acquaintances,
or friends of friends, or relatives. So why not just call it "People I Know" ? : )
I always considered a friend someone that was there for you in the thick & thin of it. A person you
could talk to anytime about almost anything. But I have learned to categorize my friends as I get older. Some friends are good for an afternoon movie & coffee, but not a dinner party. Some are only
available every other Saturday & the occasional Wednesday due to other obligations in life.
Some have handicapps or limitations on what they can do. Some don't want to do public things.
Some seem to need a reason to go out to do things. Each one can be a gem and a stick in the mud at thier own given time.... just as I can be. I have found that just being oneself is enough & to let the chips fall where they may with various friendships. I will always miss the ones I have lost, even though it was time to let them go, or be let go. But I will always remember the things that I learned from them & from being with them.
This took a while to realize, but suddenly it feels that there is no one to invite out to the concert,
or the book store, or just for coffee.
There was a time when I prided myself in the number of friends & acquaintances I had... or
thought I had. But over the years, between moves, several deaths, divorce, children's schedules,
stressful jobs, lack of money, lack of time, & just plain old tiredness or laziness, I have few friends.
Although I am like an octopus reaching out - creating meetings, parties, events, & reasons to get together, its a lot of work, without a lot of ROI.
This saddens me becasue I see my parents, & other friends loosing their friends as well.
Mostly now due to death & illness. Long distances are too much to travel, & they aren't interested
in modern technology & its many attributes... IE: Facebook, Classmates.com, MySpace, Linked In, etc. If anything, they are overwhelmed by them, if they even know what they are.
So their reach is only as long as the telephone & only as long as their most recent conversation.
All of these sites such as Facebook, etc are interesting in what they call "Freinds".
I have seen some people's profiles to boast over 500 Friends, but upon speaking to that person,
they said they only knew about 50 of them personally, & about 75+ more were work acquaintances,
or friends of friends, or relatives. So why not just call it "People I Know" ? : )
I always considered a friend someone that was there for you in the thick & thin of it. A person you
could talk to anytime about almost anything. But I have learned to categorize my friends as I get older. Some friends are good for an afternoon movie & coffee, but not a dinner party. Some are only
available every other Saturday & the occasional Wednesday due to other obligations in life.
Some have handicapps or limitations on what they can do. Some don't want to do public things.
Some seem to need a reason to go out to do things. Each one can be a gem and a stick in the mud at thier own given time.... just as I can be. I have found that just being oneself is enough & to let the chips fall where they may with various friendships. I will always miss the ones I have lost, even though it was time to let them go, or be let go. But I will always remember the things that I learned from them & from being with them.
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